I haven't been very religious despite growing up with Christian parents, but what changed?

I haven't been very religious despite growing up with Christian parents, but what changed?

I was not very religious growing up, but I was not an atheist either — what described me was agnostic. I knew there is something; as human beings we should believe, and there should be a savior. I did not believe fortune tellers much either. My parents gave up consulting fortune tellers a long time ago, before I was born, as they said.

So I was agnostic for many years and it caused intense debate with my parents and sisters. I wanted to believe in something but was not sure it was Jesus or not. But that is not the case anymore. I became a believer — he is my lifesaver. He saved my life and my daughter’s.

Here is a quick story why I decided to seek God and ask for his forgiveness and guidance:

I became a father in an unexpected event. When I heard the news that my girlfriend was pregnant, I knew my life would change forever. I was a little bit nervous and worried about our future because I did not have a stable job — my girlfriend was also aware that we were in a difficult situation. She brought up the idea of abortion, but I knew she did not want it to happen, and I did not want it either. I wanted to be a father, but the financial difficulties stressed me. Morally, I refused to accept abortion. Life starts in the womb — I believe that. Also, it is still something illegal.

So we did not talk about abortion anymore. We saved money for the baby’s health and the mother. We consulted a competent nurse constantly and also checked traditional massage at the same time. People advised us to stick to the nurse only, but we still valued the importance of traditional massage and health advice.

From there I decided to turn to God because I knew I couldn’t manage it myself. I needed guidance and to become a better dad. There is something we take for granted for a long time — one of them is the forgiveness and guidance of God. We turn to him when we meet obstacles in life. I was one of them; I decided to pray when I was most vulnerable. His forgiveness and greatness are beyond our imagination.

In the first three months, I was constantly praying but did not tell my girlfriend. I asked Jesus to relieve my worries about becoming a father — how to raise my child differently than how I was raised due to poverty. Here I don't want to blame my parents; I just want to give better for my children. Of course prayer works — always. My worries and stress disappeared day by day. I felt excited to welcome a new baby.

At her seventh month, we could identify her sex. The doctor revealed that she was a girl. Both of us were so happy and I started to select a name. I had different kinds of names but I chose Neptunia. Beautiful name, isn’t it? I know it is. People asked what is the name behind that beautiful name. I said Rabozy. It is the name of our grandmother. I did not see our grandmother. She died the year I was born. But her story inspired me as a strong woman. She was a single mother who raised four children, including my mother.

When her father-in-law came to Antsambalahy to take his son (her husband) back home to Ambositra, my grandmother had to become a single mother. They were separated by force. Can you imagine being separated from your loved one even though you have no argument and, of course, are still in love? That story is enough to convince me that she was a strong woman. As I said, she raised four children by herself; she had seven children in total but two of them were taken by her husband and his family back to their home. I heard stories of her hard work and commitment.

So I named my daughter after her name to honor her. I did not see her nor did I know her personally, but I believe she had strong values worth remembering and passing on to her generation.

Back to what I said: my daughter was born on 3rd November 2023 — a beautiful baby from a beautiful mother. I said I did not deserve them, but the work of God is powerful. I thank God every day that I have them in my life. My life has never been the same since they came into my life.

She is a strong baby with strong confidence and personality. I could tell from watching her from a young age. She is very active and never remains seated. She climbs and runs all over the room. We always ask Jesus to protect her from injury or falls. She kept falling all the time, and the massage specialist already recognized us regularly since we consulted her so many times. When she is sick we always figure out that she was wounded by her physical activities or from falling from a bed or table. People say daughters are calm compared to boys, but for our daughter that is not true.

Jesus truly guards children — I believe in that. But we should never take his guardianship for granted.

When we lived in Antananarivo, my daughter used to climb the stairs to another floor. We lived on the first floor and our landlord lived on the second floor. They loved her so much and she loved them too. Everyone in the house wanted to hold her. She was passed from one family member to another. They even fought to keep her longer.

But when she was 7–8 months, she started to crawl and climb the stairs. She wanted to visit them. Countless times she fell from the 3rd step of the stairs to the ground. She still managed to climb to the 3rd step, then after a few days to the 4th, another day to the 6th step. All the people in the building worried about her safety but there was no solution for the stairs. It had no fence or protection. It was one of the most dangerous staircases to raise children around. As you know, that is typical house construction in Antananarivo.

We kept our daughter at home; the space was too small for her though.

When I left for Antalaha later, I was praying for her safety all day. Her mother called me: “Oh I don’t know what to do with Neptunia. She is very active; I worry she will fall from the stairs.” I was worried about her too; every day I prayed Jesus would protect her.

One day, her mother called me that she had already managed to climb to the second floor and crawl into the dining room of our landlord. They called her mother: “Neptunia is here, you are looking for her!” Her mother was shocked and nearly fainted hearing that — no one was there when she climbed. She kept going there whenever she had the opportunity. Then we decided to leave Antananarivo. I thanked God that we left for her safety.

But the danger still followed. She became stronger every day and never wanted to remain calm. As I said, she often got sick from falling from tables and beds.

We live in the neighborhood next to the hospital in Antalaha. The place is tiny and very dirty. There is almost no yard where children can play. Children play around and in the middle of the house. The environment is very bad — litter and dirty water are everywhere. No one cares. We clean our place but it is very small and not enough for our daughter to play, and also we do not have a fence to keep her from going to other dirty places. The neighborhood is not ideal for raising children. People do not want to care. They do nothing despite littering and dirt being solvable. There should be basic common sense and commitment. Common sense, unfortunately, is the rarest concept for most people. I know that.

So, like I said, there is not enough space for the children of all the neighbors to play. They climb to the roof of the building next to our house to play. One day, we were searching for our daughter everywhere. But she and the other children were playing on the top of the roof. Her mother rushed to pick her up. No parents addressed this situation until then; then, one day, one of the children fell from the building to the ground. The distance is about five meters. None thought that child would be alive. But God works in a powerful way. The child was alive and her parents brought her to the hospital as she could not cry but she was still breathing. The doctor said her head was injured and they needed follow-up treatment. Now the child seems okay, but I suspect the trajectory of that accident will remain with her when she grows up. Her parents need to be very serious about her health.

As far as the accident goes, not a single parent addressed the problem. I was not in Antalaha when it happened. My girlfriend called me on the phone and asked how to prevent those children from climbing to the stairs to the roof. I told her to bar the stairs with wood or anything possible so they cannot pass there. I rushed back to Antalaha, and as soon as I arrived I strengthened the barricade. The barricade is still effective now preventing them, but I pray God to protect the children of the neighbors — to protect my daughter.

That was such a long post. I do not expect you to come around to read or even stick to the end, but if you do, thank you.

I ask Jesus to forgive me, forgive my sins, and most importantly forgive me that I honestly say because of my daughter I started to go to church and pray to Jesus. As you know, it seems like I turn to you when I am about to get in trouble. Lord, forgive me. I promise you to worship you and follow your guidance. I give my life to Jesus.

Amen!